Procrastinator Anonymous

A colleague experimenting with song writing, and just like me having to fight procrastination at times, once complained about the lack of lyrics for his music, and I was stupid enough to offer to him that I’d write some for him then.

He really got me going when he said that a song was about just a minute of music material – the rest would be just recycling and arrangement tweaks for different verses. With the most malicious intentions, I wrote these lyrics, changing the rhythm several times so that he would have to give it some more effort.

It went the other way round – he hasn’t bothered to finish the song – or perhaps he’s been procrastinating big time. Either way, it can’t harm to publish the lyrics here, as they pretty much point at why sometimes starting ambitious projects almost physically hurts – the fear of failure, or perhaps fear of success, if you like.

Procrastinator Anonymous

I was a prodigious child, talented and happy,
my schools were pieces of yummy cakes.
I got my diploma and found a job
but then something jammed on my brakes.
—
I work so hard, I’m efficient,
and a great negotiator.
So what’s my success waiting for?
Maybe it will come later.

Why am I working 9 to 5
while my star should be rising?
What could be wrong? I got it all,
why ain’t I enterprising?

I am charming, I am smooth,
I could be a politican.
It’s about time my destiny
handed me some recognition.
—
I looked into matters, I brooded, I analyzed,
then I saw through and froze in horror, paralyzed
—
Can’t hide away from it anymore
– that diagnosis so ominous –
I’m pleased to meet you, my name’s John Doe,
procrastinator anonymous.
—
(Chorus)
(Please) Do me a favour and kick my butt!
(Please) Be my saviour and bitch at me!
Give it some flavour and call me names!
Make me find out what I wanna be!
—
The truth’s laughing me in the face,
I shiver, I feel naked.
The whole wide world is up for grabs,
If I reach out and take it.

But how can I make the first step
and dive into the ocean?
Why should I risk seeing myself
fall apart in slow motion?
—
I’m waiting for my life to happen each and every day,
waiting for the day my luck will stop shying away,
waiting for the treasure map to unfold before me,
for the drop dead gorgeous one to come in and stay.
—
(Chorus)
(Please) Do me a favour and kick my butt!
(Please) Be my saviour and bitch at me!
Give it some flavour and call me names!
Make me find out what I wanna be!

(Please) Do me a favour and kick my butt!
(Please) Be my saviour and bitch at me!
Give it some flavour and call me names!
Make me become what I wanna be!